“40 Years of Marriage: Adenike Alajogun Reveals Why She Almost Walked Away

As UK-based Nollywood actress Adenike Alajogun prepares to celebrate her 40th wedding anniversary with her husband, retired Nigeria Customs Service officer Joseph Alajogun, on November 22, 2026, she reflects on four decades of love, sacrifice, perseverance and faith. In this revealing interview with Gbolahan Adetayo, the actress opens up about how their relationship began, the challenges that tested their marriage, the influence of family members, and the role of prayer, patience and forgiveness in keeping them together. She also shares her advice for young couples and expresses gratitude to her husband as they approach this remarkable milestone.

Congratulations on your forthcoming 40th wedding anniversary. Taking us back to the beginning, how did you meet your husband, Joseph Alajogun, and what was your first impression of him?

Thank you so much, Gbolahan. I really appreciate it. Yes, coming back to the question, I met my husband on August 23, 1986. To be honest with you, I had no impression of marrying him. That fateful day, I was going to Ikeja to my uncle’s house. I left Idiroko with my uncle’s wife, but when we got to Ajilete checkpoint, we met him in a Peugeot 504. Unknown to me, my uncle’s wife and he had a plan. When we got there, we got down to say hello to her fellow officers, and she introduced me to him, saying he was a nice guy who had promised to take me to Ikeja and bring me back home. I agreed, and that was how the relationship started.

What was it about Joseph that convinced you he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

Honestly, at the start, nothing convinced me because I looked at him, and he was not my type. At that time, whenever I was going to Ibadan to see my mum and grandmother, he would make sure he followed me. It was my grandmother who convinced me that he was a nice gentleman and that I should not look at his tribal marks. But something happened that I will have to reserve. That thing forced me to consider him. Gradually, the love started, and later I made up my mind to choose him as my husband.

How long did you court before getting married, and what do you remember most vividly about those days?

This question is very funny. Our courtship was only three months.

At the time you got married, what were your expectations of marriage, and how closely did the reality of married life match the picture you had in your mind?

That question has a lot to it, which I will not talk much about. If not for what my granddad, Osue of Akure Kingdom, of blessed memory, told me, with the early challenges, I would not have spent two months before leaving the marriage.

Forty years of marriage is a remarkable milestone. When you look back at your journey with Joseph, what are the three most important moments that stand out in your memory?

The death of my children, how two of his siblings took total control of the house for more than 30 years, and how I saw myself alone in the marriage, as if I was the only one in the relationship.

Every marriage faces difficult seasons. What has been the most challenging period in your 40 years together, and how did you and your husband navigate that difficult time?

I have said it earlier: the most difficult issue is that of his siblings. I can’t imagine how someone can be so wicked, selfish, self-centred and greedy. I was rendered useless at some points. I even thought of divorce. But my mum and my grandmother wouldn’t let me. Let me tell you, I thought of suicide despite that, I don’t want to say much. These two people are evil. When you say someone is evil, they are. I know they will see this interview, but I don’t care.

Have there been moments when you and your husband strongly disagreed on important family or personal matters? How did you resolve your differences without allowing them to destroy the bond between you?

We disagree a lot, and we fight a lot. Either he is guilty or I am guilty; I will be the one to say sorry, and I make sure I resolve it by myself. Initially, when we started, I noticed that whenever I brought outsiders into our differences, they added to the problem. Later, I chose to settle it by myself because he is a very stubborn man who doesn’t care whether the marriage works out or not. His problem was his siblings; they were the first priority at that time. But let me tell you, the Yoruba say, “Kì í ṣe ojú lasan.”

Many marriages struggle to survive even a few years, yet yours has lasted four decades. What, in your opinion, has been the greatest secret behind the longevity of your marriage?

Hmmmm, that one is not ordinary o my dear. Ọ̀pọ̀lọpọ̀ àdúrà, and you know we Ondo State people are generally stubborn, and we hate people daring us. That is it. “Kó wá bá mi lérí pé…” I will go without picking any of my stuff, and I said, “Okay, let’s see who is going to get tired.” My dear, “ojú mi rí.” But here I am today. Apart from stubbornness, with the help of Orunmila, my grandmother, my mother and my three brothers, whom I will cease this opportunity to say thank you so much to them. They are the people who made it work. Left to me, “ọ̀nà mi ti jin.”

After 40 years, does love still feel the same as it did when you were newly married, or has it evolved into something deeper?

Yes, what Olodumare cannot do does not exist. After many difficult years of struggling with the marriage, now we are like newly married couples. The love is growing more and more.

As a Nollywood actress with professional commitments, how have you balanced your career, family responsibilities and marriage?

In all marriages and relationships, understanding matters. He taught me how to be independent as an officer in Customs. He was always in the field, so both of us are used to it.

Your husband served in the Nigeria Customs Service before retiring. How did his career and its responsibilities affect your family life, particularly during periods when work demanded his time, attention or absence from home?

Hmm, this is a guy who loves his job more than anything. He will tell you that his job comes first. As long as I knew the type of man I was marrying, I cooperated with him and understood his job. I didn’t allow his job to affect our home.

What role have forgiveness, patience, compromise and sacrifice played in keeping your marriage strong?

Forgiveness, patience and compromise have kept the relationship going till now. You know I said it earlier: if not for these, the marriage could have since “laid the smack down.”

As someone based in the United Kingdom and involved in Nollywood, what role have distance, travel and professional commitments played in your relationship?

I told you that since I got married to him, I have been living as an officer’s wife, and an officer’s wife must learn how to be independent. Distance can’t affect any uniformed man’s marriage.

With the high rate of marital difficulties and separations being discussed in society today, what advice would you give young couples who are preparing for marriage, especially those who expect everything to be perfect from the beginning?

My advice to young people who are planning to get married is that they should understand the family they are marrying into because, sometimes, family members are the cause of some broken marriages today. Young ladies should make sure they have jobs and be patient with the situation when they get there. Prayers and submission are very important as well.

As you prepare to celebrate this remarkable milestone on November 22, 2026, what would you like to say to Joseph Alajogun?

As we prepare to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary, I am saying thank you to my husband for choosing me because, if not for Orunmila, I would not be alive today to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. I admire his spirit and the respect he has for my family. He has never underrated them at any time. That is why my mum never gave up despite the challenges. He is a very nice man, a very good father and grandfather.